David G. Wiseman

The 12 Days of Vacation

		The 12 Days of Vacation
	
Dedicated to Dave Mason, Chris Siebenmann, and anyone who's left
their computers alone just long enough for them to self-destruct:
	
	(Sung to the tune of something or other...)
	
	On the first day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		A burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the second day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the third day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the fourth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the fifth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the sixth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Six bad controllers; 
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the seventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Seven blown partitions;
		Six bad controllers; 
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the eighth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Eight gettys dying;
		Seven blown partitions;
		Six bad controllers; 
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the ninth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Nine floppies frying;
		Eight gettys dying;
		Seven blown partitions;
		Six bad controllers; 
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the tenth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Ten ports a-jamming;
		Nine floppies frying;
		Eight gettys dying;
		Seven blown partitions;
		Six bad controllers; 
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the eleventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Eleven chips a-smoking;
		Ten ports a-jamming;
		Nine floppies frying;
		Eight gettys dying;
		Seven blown partitions;
		Six bad controllers; 
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the twelfth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
		Twelve boards a-blowing;
		Eleven chips a-smoking;
		Ten ports a-jamming;
		Nine floppies frying;
		Eight gettys dying;
		Seven blown partitions;
		Six bad controllers; 
		Five core dumps;
		Four bad blocks;
		Three heads crashed;
		Two faulty tapes;
		And a burnt-out V.D.T.
	
	On the thirteenth day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.
	
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND WATCH OUT FOR THOSE MOBILE R.I.D.E. CHECKS!

(Unix is a trademark of AT&T. If you didn't know that by now, shame, shame..)
-- 
  Evan Leibovitch, Sound Software, located in beautiful Brampton, Ontario
          evan@telly.on.ca / uunet!attcan!telly!evan / (416)452-0504
       "If women designed condoms they would be not ribbed, but padded"


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