No Comment. It's safer that way
The No Comment section of The Progressive, February, 1990:
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
From an address by Ellis Milan, president of the Retail
Tobacco Distributors of America, as reprinted in Smokeshop
Magazine: "President George Bush often talks of 1,000 points
of light. I'd like to think those points of light are coming
from the glowing ends of cigars, cigarettes, and pipes across
the country, and symbolize the cornerstone of this nation -
Just the Fax, Please
Under contract with Litton Industries, Inc., of College Park,
Maryland, the U.S. Air Force is procuring 173 custom-made
heavy duty fax machines for $32.9 million, plus $40 million
for support and spare parts. That works out to more than
$421,000 per machine.
From the Seventh Generation mail-order catalog: "Protect and
waterproof your leather. ... Our leather seal is nontoxic
and uses no animal products."
A Kansan Points with Pride
Senate Republican Leader Robert Dole, reciting the legislative
achievements of the last Congressional session: "We were able
to slow down and dilute child care."
A Heartbeat Away
Vice President Dan Quayle, as quoted in The Washington Post:
"I've been blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful
family, and I am proud of my family. Anybody turns to their
family. I have a very good family. I'm very fortunate to
have a very good family. I believe very strongly in the
family. It's one of the things we have in our platform
to talk about it."
His Eye Is on the Sparrow
From an account (in Newsday) of damage inflicted by Hurricane
Hugo on Puerto Rican facilities of Long Island-based firms:
"Telecommunications manufacturer Porta Systems Corp. of Syosset,
with a plant and 200 employees in Caparra Heights, 'did not
suffer too much - just some damage to the women's bathroom,'
said senior vice president Gary Romeo. 'I spoke to [the
plant manager],' said Romeo. 'He said God was very good to
Who Guards the Guardians?
In the summer of 1987, The Washington Post recently reported,
U.S. Customs Service agents broke into an office of the General
Accounting Office to steal advance copies of a GAO report on
an investigation of abuses in the Customs Service.
Fear and Loathing in Electronics
From the cover of Spectrum, the magazine of the Institute of
Electronics and Electronic Engineers: SPECIAL REPORT -
THE THREAT OF PEACE: How Disarmament could affect jobs and
the economy, industry, R & D, education, and the war on drugs
and terrorism, and what's being done about it.
Life Among the Computers
From a report (in Computerworld Magazine) on the Comdex/Fall '89
computer exhibition in Las Vegas: "The award for Most Sexist
and/or Tackiest Gimmick must surely go to Fujitsu, which featured
a 'slave auction of women' at its shindig. Scantily dressed
women were hauled 'screaming' into the party, where they were
to be auctioned off. Once sold, they were tossed over the
shoulders of whip-bearing males who bore them off."
There Goes the Neighborhood
In Flossmoor, Illinois, a posh Chicago suburb, it is illegal
to park a pickup truck in one's own driveway.
Frontiers of Technology
From the "Future Perfect" feature of Ladies' Home Journal:
"The Eletto Toilet from Taiwan, scheduled to appear in
1992, will add custom touches to the standard bathroom
fixture. The lid will remain closed when not in use and
will open at the touch of a button (a separate button will
lift the seat for men). The temperature of the seat will
be maintained between eighty-two and 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
When the user gets up, the toilet will flush automatically,
sterilizing the seat and bowl."
News item from The Boston Globe: "The security for the fashion
show tonight will be, well, absolute. That's because two of
the items - designed by Boston-based Anthony Ferrara, dressmaker
to the stars - are worth so much money that the organizers
are nervous: One dress is made of eighteen-karat gold mesh
(price tag $532,000), the other of sterling silver ($100,000).
The dresses will be the highlight of a fashion show. . . to
benefit the Massachusetts Coalition for the Homeless."
Man's Best Friend
According to the Humane Society of the United States, the
Israeli army uses dogs with explosives strapped to their
backs "to chase guerrillas into tunnels where the explosives
are detonated by remote control."